


living for the past

by danhoweiis



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-13 20:11:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18947986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danhoweiis/pseuds/danhoweiis
Summary: sometimes phil gets tipsy and old memories resurface





	living for the past

**Author's Note:**

> thank u to my shining star [fizz](https://twitter.com/tayIuvr) for beta'ing this for me <3

It was 1am when Phil stumbled into their apartment. A night of drinks, good food and good company in the form of his friends from back home had made his body feel totally relaxed. He toed off his shoes at the door and made his way to the lounge, hoping to find Dan.

He was met with a dark room and looked around, perplexed. That was when he pulled his phone from his pocket and checked the time.  _ Oh. It was 1am.  _

After realising Dan was probably in bed he made his way to the bedroom where he opened the door quietly. Dan was curled up on his side, his laptop lying abandoned in the middle of the bed. 

“ _ The fuuuutures unclear and I know this much is truueeeeee, you’re important to me and youuuuu…”  _ Phil whisper-sung as he walked to the bed and flopped down right on top of Dan’s stomach.

“Jesus, fuck.” Dan said, as he bolted his head upright. “Oh, Phil you’re back.” He said, after realising it was just Phil who had collapsed on top of him.

“ _ We didn’t know if we’d make it far! Now I’m on a stage singing here we are!”  _

“Are you singing...our song?” Dan said, a slight chuckle in his voice.

Phil giggled and nodded. As he adjusted his position so he could pull down the top of the duvet to reveal Dan’s bare torso and leant his head down to press soft kisses to his stomach.

“Idiot. What are you doing? Come to bed.”

“Kisses first. Then bed.”

It was with great difficulty that Dan managed to coax a slightly tipsy Phil to get up, strip off his clothes and climb under the duvet. But eventually, 5 minutes later, they were both tucked up under the blankets, hidden away from the rest of the world.

Dan had just finished fluffing up his pillow when Phil immediately encroached into Dan’s space and wrapped his arms tightly around his middle, pressing kisses to his neck. “Missed you bear,”

Dan gagged and rolled his eyes. “Are you trying to make me throw up?” He said, his tone sarcastic when in reality his insides were turning to mush. It wasn’t a pet name Phil used that much anymore but something about it made Dan feel warm inside.

“What? It’s cute! Reminds me of when we first started talking.”

“You mean all those billions of years ago?”

“9 years, 7 months, 5 days, 10 minutes and 3 seconds ago. 4 seconds. 5 seconds. 6 seco- Ow! That hurt.” Phil said as Dan jabbed him sharply in the ribs.

“Did not, stop being a wimp.”

“Did so.” Phil said, pouting.

“Your skin is too sensitive old man.” Dan said softly as he rubbed the sore spot on Phil’s chest.

“I am old. Can you believe Ian has a child? An actual human being that he has a responsibility to look after? Can you imagine what that’s like?”

Dan all but glared in Phil’s direction. “Not at all.”

“And you know Mark? Him and his girlfriend are already planning kids.” Phil continued, lost in thought.

“Where are you going with all this?”

“They all asked me when we were getting married.” Phil said, somewhat nervously. “I just laughed and sipped on my drink, hoping they’d move on but they were all still staring at me and I didn’t have an answer. I mean, I know we’ve talked about it but it’s complicated, right? And to try and explain to them that we don’t feel we need to get married, definitely not right now...I don’t know. I felt a bit like a failure so I just shrugged and said we had been making some plans.”

It wasn’t that Phil didn’t overthink. Well, not to the extent Dan did anyway Phil just preferred to keep all his thinking bottled up. Until one day it just overflowed and all came spilling out.

“You’re not a failure. This is just what happens when you drink, all your insecurities take over the rational part of your brain.”

“When’d you get so clever?” Phil chuckled.

“I’m just saying, you don’t need to measure yourself up against other people’s success. Especially not your friends.”

“I know that. It just made me think of when we first got together. And we had all these plans but we didn't know what was gonna happen. Maybe we need more plans."

"Phil, the entirety of our 2018 was just one big plan. I just wanna go with the flow, see where the wind takes us."

There was a silence for a few minutes. Neither of them talking just the hum in the air and the noise of distant traffic. 

"Remember in Jamaica. And we said one day we'd have a huge house that overlooked a beach and a huge bedroom and a balcony?"

"Yeah. You also said you wanted a home cinema and a slide instead of stairs. Dreams change." 

"Oh come on. Are you saying you don't want to slide down to breakfast?"

"Not when I'm 65 I don't."

Phil chuckled. Things had changed since then. But they were barely even adults back then, and dreaming of things like million pound mansions was just a bit of fun, nothing that was ever going to happen.

But now they were here, both thrown in right at the deep end of adulthood where things had changed. They had bills to pay, jobs to do and an entire audience at their fingertips waiting for the next big thing from Dan and Phil.

“Yeah maybe slides for stairs wasn’t my best idea. But I meant everything else I said then. The house with you, pets, a mortgage.”

“Do not say the ‘M’ word.” Dan said, physically repulsed. “Look, maybe we could have gotten normal jobs. In an office or something and then settled down at 30 and gotten the dogs and the kids and the mortgage but we didn’t. We did things our way, and so what? Who cares that we aren’t where society expects us to be at this age. Fuck society, At least we’re happy.”

Phil smiled. Dan’s words washing over him and offering some small comfort. It was one of his favourite things about Dan. His ability to reel off this wisdom with inspirational speeches without even realising the impact his words might have.

“I’ll be happier once I’ve had sleep.” Phil joked as he settled himself down under the covers.

-

Mornings in the Dan and Phil flat were usually quiet. Both of them knowing what the other wanted without having to use the luxury of words. A silent agreement to watch the latest episode of whatever TV show they were currently watching as one of them made the mugs of steaming coffee. 

"We should go back to Blackpool." Phil said as the credits rolled on that weeks Game of Thrones episode. 

Dan grimaced. "Ugh, why?"

"Cause it was our first holiday. We could recreate it, make new memories."

"First off Blackpool is disgusting and secondly we could literally afford to go to the Maldives or somewhere where the sea is actually warm and there aren't empty cider cans on the beach."

"But, does the Maldives have Madame Tussauds? Or the 2 penny machines?" 

"Fine we'll go to Blackpool and stay in a grotty hotel and eat fish and chips on the pier. Happy?" 

“I just thought it’d be nice. We could sit where we sat in 2010, look at how much has changed since then.”

“Why can’t we do that in the Maldives?” 

Phil rolled his eyes. “We can b-but...Never mind.”

Dan placed his mug down and turned to face Phil. “Sup Philly?” He said, his toe nudging at Phil’s thigh.

“Nothing it’s just...I thought we could go to Blackpool. And it would be a nice time for us to look at how things have changed, how we’ve changed. How different things are now compared to then? Back then, I thought I was going to be married and have a house and a dog by the time I was 30. And now I’m 32 and have none of those things.”

This wasn’t something that came up often, but they’d had this conversation enough times before for Dan to know exactly what Phil needed to hear.

“You know that doesn’t matter right? Life isn’t measured by whether or not you’ve bought a house or by how many kids you have. But, I’ll indulge your whims and if you wanna go to Blackpool we can go. Maybe just for the day?”

Phil chuckled at Dan’s attempt to please him. “Long way to to go just for the day. We might have to make a weekend of it.”

Dan bit his lip and shook his head. “Fine. but we’re staying in a hotel with at least 5 stars this time and if it doesn’t have a working shower or clean bed sheets I’m leaving.”

“Someone’s sounding a little demanding, Mr high maintenance.” Phil teased. “If we tell them Danisnotonfire is coming I’m sure they’ll wash the towels for us.”

Dan tried to look angry (the key word being tried) as a grin broke out across Phil’s face. 

“I’m not even going to entertain that comment with a reaction.” He said, turning back to the TV screen.

“Stop being grumpy and cuddle me.” Phil said, shuffling over to Dan’s side of the couch and leaning up against him, pressing kisses to his shoulder. “I love you...Danisnotonfire.”

“Hm, sure you do. Amazingphil.” Dan said, wrapping his arm around Phil’s shoulder, pulling him closer.

Phil smiled to himself, thoughts and plans of going to Blackpool running around his head. Who cares if they didn’t have a mortgage, at least they had this.

 

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/danhoweIIs)  
> thank u for reading :D <33


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